What is the statute of limitations on college dorm pranks?
Am I passed the threshold of doing time for the crime?
Because I need to come clean.
I feel sort of bad.
(No, I’m not smiling).
It was me.
I did it.
Oh the pranks were funny at the time.
At least to me.
Knee-buckling hilarity.
In the days before
phones had cameras
and everything
was worthy of taking pictures
and posting
and going
viral.
So time for me to ‘fess up.
(Off the record, of course).
Here is the list,
I’m not (smirk) proud of it
(No I’m not giggling, really.)
it was me –
Grape Kool-Aid powder in the shower heads. All of them.
Sure, you screamed as the purple rain came down
I laughed in the stairwell.
Knowing there was more to come.
I didn’t get up at 3am for just ONE prank.
it was me –
Unloading the rest of the grape Kool-Aid in the hair dryers.
Part 2. When you went to dry your purple hair
you got a face full.
I’m busting up in the stairwell
But starting to wonder,
if I went a little too far.
it was me –
Inserting the shaving-cream-filled album cover under your door.
And jumping on it.
Arterial spray covering
walls
ceiling
floor
wardrobe
and notebooks.
I ran fast
never witnessing
my artwork.
it was me –
Locking you up in your room, during finals
Letting you sweat
blocking your phone line
until only minutes remained
and you had to run
across the campus
to take your final.
it was me –
Timing the toilet-flushing when you were in the shower
to give you a cold reception
and nabbing your towel
and clothes
and running down the hall
happily.
it was me –
Your phone ringing past midnight, the earpiece covered in peanut butter.
Sitting in the dark of my room
holding back the tears
imagining you
cleaning out your ears.
it was me –
I’m guilty.
I’m sorry.
I’m not (smirk) proud of it.
(No I’m not giggling, really.)
Day 4 – Slice of Life
Glad you confessed – loved the litany of your pranks! Needed a chuckle tonight
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I just laughed out loud a whole bunch. Oh College…I Won’t Be Slicing About That. 🙂 This was extremely clever and I enjoyed every bit of it. (As a completely innocent college student of course.)
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Very clever post. The pranks at my women’s Catholic college often involved statues of saints. Glad I didn’t live in your dorm.
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So glad I didn’t live in your dorm, but wondering how do you put the purple kool-ade in the shower head??? that my husband uses. Sounds interesting and might be fun… D 🙂
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We unscrewed all the shower heads in the girls bathroom, and filled them with purple kool-aid powder. Then we put more powder in their hair dryers.
(off the record, of course)
😉
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Love the acrostic poem idea. Who knew you were such a prankster?! This would make a great mentor text for all kinds of GUILTY confessions. Kevin’s response was perfect. This post reminds me of the false apology book of poems by Gail Carson Levine, which were based on William Carlos William’s poem, “This Is Just To Say.” http://www.amazon.com/Forgive-Me-Meant-Do-It/dp/0061787256
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If I ever have the pleasure of running into you at a conference, check the chair before you sit down. 😉
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This is funny! Of course, I noticed right away that the first letter was “bold” and I was like, “what is he up to with this clever post?” Yep, you’re guilty of yet another brilliantly written and engaging post! 🙂
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You’re the first to remark on this!
I thought about re-doing the post, claiming to be “framed”, but keeping the points as an acronym spelling out “GUILTY”, but I decided it might be too ‘busy,
Since WordPress doesn’t allow me to use a larger font, I decided to keep it as is. Thanks for your encouraging wordds!
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*words
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This one time in college my dorm room ended up in a web of masking tape. Was it you? A protégé perhaps? I can visualize these events so clearly… no phone images needed.
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If I was found guilty of these pranks, I wouldn’t give up any proteges or mentors in our supposed network (wink).
psst.. – we have members on every university campus. 😉
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(a response? perhaps)
So it was you
then
we always knew —
there was something in the way
you watched our reactions
and there was that time
we noticed your fingers
faint with purple, as if Prince had shaken your hand …
it was you then
we always knew ….
🙂
Kevin
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What a great response! Thanks for playing along!
By the way, I’m innocent of such pranks! 😉
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I love this, but I have to say, it made me feel squeamish–especially the “locking you up in your room, during finals….” I am very glad I did not live in your dorm!
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