These were my last words before my car was t-boned a few days ago. I shouted them an instant before the black sedan barrelled into my driver’s side door.
Then a sudden impact, and the memory of being sent spinning through the intersection.
Whirring images kaliedescoped around me.
Time lost, but how much?
Then light. Fuzzy, erratic, tipsy, not-sure-if-I’m-dreaming sunlight peaks into my car. I grab my head, trying to collect myself. Trying to stop the spinning.
Voices outside my window, as a few images walk through the intrsection.
Is everyone okay? Are you hurt? Do you need help?
I recognize a friend from church, and wonder why he is looking into my window, still unsure if this is a twisted daydream, or if I’m really awakening from a collision.
Emotions begin to swirl. Embarassment from being in an accident. Worry that the other driver may be hurt. Frailty, with a foggy awareness that I’m unsure what happened, where I am, or what my condition is.
I knock on my window, asking my friend to let me out, but my doors are caved in, and I have to pull my legs out and exit the passenger side.
More spinning. More fog. Trying to get my bearings.
Someone walks me over to the sidewalk, helping me to sit down and wait for the medical personnel, while a few people help the other driver. Apparently, an elderly woman blacked out while driving, plowing right through the stop sign and into my car. Thankfully, she shows no injuries, but she is dazed and in need of assistance.
We are each taken by ambulance to the local hospital for precautionary purposes, and released later that afternoon. The cars are totaled, but each of us is physically unscathed.
That was 3 days ago.
Now I’m kind of stuck in a perpetual flu-like trance marked by a cocktail of headache, muscle soreness, and lethargy. But no scratches. No broken bones. No internal injuries.
And no epiphany.
I’m not sure why, but after surviving a wreck where both cars are totaled, I assumed that there should be an inherent message received. A clarion call. A watershed moment. A directive from above. Perhaps an affirmation of sorts. Or a warning salvo.
So I’m grateful to have emerged so fortunate, but also trying to be perceptive to any communiques that might be blocked out by my current foggy state.
Maybe gratitude is the message. Savoring each moment, with the understanding that they are tenuous and fleeting.