Each day in March, I’m participating in the Slice of Life challenge, hosted by Two Writing Teachers. You can visit their site here. This is my slice for Day 27.
I had the wonderful opportunity to read to my friend Kory Graham’s class of kinders this morning via Google Hangouts. Kory posted a clip of our hangout here. We read the hilarious tale, DOG BREATH, by Dav Pilkey. Before we settled in to read the story, I was introduced to the smiling faces pushing their way up to the screen to greet me. One youngster, proudly wearing a blue “Angry Bird” shirt, wanted to say hello because we share the same name. Us Gregs have to stick together you know. We are birds of a feather, albeit not of the angry variety.
In honor of my new friend, I wanted to employ a writing strategy called “Writing From a Name”. This is typically one of the first activities we do each school year, as it gives us a great way to get to know about ourselves, and our new classmates. You can find out more about the strategy on a post I wrote here.
I think my little buddy Greg should know the great heritage of his name. Derived from both Latin and Greek origins, it means “watchful, and alert”. What a proud lineage we Gregs share. Gregory the Great. St. Gregory. Gregory Peck. Greg Kinnear (one of my favorite actors). Greg Louganis (my favorite diver). Greg Norman (one of my favorite golfers and sharks). Greg Maddux (Hall of Fame baseball player). And Greg Biffle (one of my favorite race car drivers).
If you’re a Greg, you’re by definition one of my favorites. I’ve always loved my name. It alliterates well with so many positive attributes. Gregarious. Gargantuan. Galant. And of course, Gorgeous.
But little buddy, we have a problem. Our proud name is under attack. In the intense research I’ve undertaken to learn about our name, I’ve uncovered the disturbing fact that our name is currently ranked #298th of names given to boys.
This is a travesty! It is only natural for the two of us to be indignant at this injustice! I’m hard pressed to think of any names that rival the majesty of our own. Okay, I’ll grant you the first names of bona fide heroes, such as Martin, George, or Abraham. I’ll even concede that some of the stars of the sporting world have worthy names, such as Michael, Peyton, or Tom. But if you take a gander at the rankings of names given to baby boys here, you will share in my distress. I mean, what are these parents smoking, er, I mean thinking!
To be ranked #298th must be a sham! We are behind Jace, Jase, Jayce, and Jaceyon! We trail both Aidan, and Ayden! We are listed way below Jackson, and Jaxon! Fraternal triplets Max, Maxwell and Maximus are in front of us! Seriously?! I’m incredulous!
What is a Weston? Or a Zayden? From whence did such names come? Are parents just throwing darts at a list to see what sticks?
I propose that you and I need to begin some type of counseling for would-be parents. We need to set them straight on the importance of name selection for their offspring. Children deserve a proud heritage. They deserve a name with dignity, gusto, and elan.
You and I are watchful and alert. We will protect the children born into this world, and make sure they are named properly.
Your parents got it right.