The Turn of An Enigma

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I am an Enigma. I do not understand what I do. The good I want to do, I often turn from, and the poor choices I want to avoid, I can slowly gravitate towards. On some level, this struggle is a human experience, detailed in Romans 7:15-

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

As humans, we often turn from that which we know is best for us. I turn towards pleasure, when what I need may be perseverance. I turn towards the influence of the world, when I really need the insights of wisdom.

I turn from light, because sometimes I just want my turn.

My turn at glory.
My turn at acceptance.
My turn to be in the headlines.
My turn to be first.
My turn for happiness.

This drive to put my own desires on a pedestal, often ends in my turning from light. It ends in hurt relationships, misplaced expectations, disappointments, and empty promises. When I focus primarily on putting my desires on the pedestal, filling myself leaves me empty.

Reminding me to turn my face, and my heart, to Him. Because in him, my turn has been fulfilled.

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6 thoughts on “The Turn of An Enigma

  1. Taking my turn was a part of my decision in choosing this word. I felt I was trying to be all things to all people and in return, I was losing myself. But a big part of “my turn” was creating my blog to turn toward him and finding the me God created me to be. As you said, in Him, my turn is fulfilled. Thanks for sharing my word this week.

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    • Thank you for sharing your #olw with everyone. I’ve enjoyed following your blog, and your journey. Was thinking about “turn” today in church – how it applies to my current jourmey.

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  2. “Reminding me to turn my face, and my heart, to Him. Because in him, my turn has been fulfilled.” Such powerful words!

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  3. “My turn” is such a strong theme in our world and so easy to indulge. We even believe we DESERVE our turn. Your wise words help us refocus on turning toward Him. It is not about us, it’s about Him.

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  4. Thanks for the this reminder that filling ourselves leaves us empty, that it is only when we turn our face and heart to Him that we are fulfilled. Why is it so hard to remember?

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