I’ve been mulling over the topic of patience, and I’m kind of torn in my reflection. In some respects, I think that I prove to be a patient person, able to listen thoughtfully, and be fully present in the moment with my students. Able to trust God’s timing with the desires of my heart.
In other contexts, I’m often lacking in patience, especially in the relationships in my own household. In matters of conflict, more often than I like, I can become quickly agitated with my wife or daughters when I detect tension mounting, rather than having the patience to listen completely and discuss the matter calmly. I also lack a personal patience, at times burdening myself with a feelings of diminished value because I haven’t accomplished goals or undergone internal transformations in the manner I had expected of myself.
But these examples lead me to an issue that seems to go hand-in-hand with patience – the concept of “being enough”. I am coming to realize that when I struggle with patience, often times it revolves around the question of me trusting that God is enough for me, or that I, washed in the grace of His son, am enough for Him. My head knows the answers to these foundational questions, but sometimes my heart struggles to trust His promises. The promise that He is my great and precious reward. The promise that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of His Son.
So when I am impatient, I am often just wrestling to accept these truths. The truth that He is more than enough for me. The truth that because of the sacrifice of His son, I am more than enough for him. Trusting in these realities, I can tap into a wealth of patience for myself, and the people around me.